Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

Edition #6

13 Questions My 5-Year-Old Son Asked Me on the Five Minute Drive to Camp this Morning

1. "Mommy, why don't cars drive on the sidewalk and people walk in the street?" - "Because the sidewalk isn't big enough for the cars."
2. "Mommy, why don't they make the sidewalks big enough for the cars?" - "Because we already have the streets and it's better to have more grass."
3. "Mommy, why can golf carts go on the golf course and cars can't?" - "Because cars are too heavy and don't have the right kind of tires."
4. "Mommy, what would cars do to the golf course?" - "They would tear up the grass because they are too heavy and don't have the right kind of tires."
5. "Mommy, why do we need grass?" - "Because it's like the leaves on the trees; it puts out oxygen."
6. "Mommy, why do we need oxygen?" - "Because we need it to live."
7. "Mommy, why do aliens live in space and fish live in the water and we live on the land?" - "Because everything has to live somewhere."
8. "Mommy,  how many years ago did Jesus make us?" - "Jesus didn't make us."
9. "Mommy, where did we come from before we were made?" - "Well, we just kind of developed."
10. "Mommy, what does developed mean?" - "Well, we were one kind of thing when the dinosaurs lived and then we grew."
11. "Mommy, how do they know there were dinosaurs if there aren't any now?" - "They've found the bones and skeletons of them."
12. "Mommy,  are a  T-Rex's teeth sharp enough to break bones?" - "Yes"
13. "Mommy, are animals that eat vegetables nicer than animals that eat meat?" - "It seems that way."

10 Favorite Movies from My Childhood

    

1. Born Free - Just thinking about this movie has that damn song stuck in my head.
2. Run Wild, Run Free - Little girls love horses. My mom took me to see this the day after I got my first puppy; I was 5. I remember that when my dad came to pick us up at the movie theater, he brought the dog with him, but by the time he got to the theater, she had thrown up in the car. Boy was he pissed off!
3. Planet of the Apes - The first "Owl Show" (a very late movie), I was ever allowed to go to!
4. Wizard of Oz - Those stupid monkeys still scare me.
5. Star Wars - Who didn't want to be Princess Leia? I still have little Yodas on my desk! “Do or do not... there is no try.”
6. The Black Stallion - Another horse flick. Walter Farley was my favorite author and I still have the letter he wrote back to me when I was 10.
7. Monty Python and the Holy Grail - "They turned me into a newt, but I got better!" and many more quotes that have infiltrated our society.
8. Sleuth - What acting! I couldn't believe there were only two actors when I saw it the first time.
9. Black Beauty - Yet another horse flick.
10. Thunderbolt and Lightfoot- I saw this movie with my parents and really the only thing I remember is my mother throwing her hands over my eyes when the naked woman came to the window. It's a childhood memory more so than a favorite movie.

Unconscious Mutterings #232

1. Situation :: Problem 
2. Theme song :: Satisfaction - Rolling Stones
   
3. Kelly :: Ripa (yuk! I can't stand her voice...why is she in my head?) 
4. Club :: Juana 
5. Swerve :: Miss 
6. Couch :: Potato 
7. Bigfoot :: Sasquatch 
8. Arbitrary :: Problematic 
9. Inventor :: Einstein
   
10. Blazer :: Eddie Bauer 

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
What is your favorite fruit?

Tomato

Soup
Who is someone you consider as a great role model?

My mother. She is always happy, positive and kind. She never has an unkind word to say about anyone and goes out of her way to help others...Unfortunately, I'm more like my father.

Salad
If you were to spend one night anywhere within an hour of your home, where would you choose?

The Park Plaza Hotel on Park Avenue in Winter Park, Florida. There is an old hotel with a balcony that the rooms open on to.

I've always wanted to make surprise reservations for my husband and myself at the hotel. Then, I would have him take me to dinner there and after a long, leisurely dinner, I would excuse myself from the table. I would dash upstairs where I would already have the room set up (champagne, etc.) and get myself ready. Meanwhile, down in the restaurant, in lieu of a check, I would have the waiter present my husband with a room key.

Main Course
Name something you do too often.

Procrastinate. I wonder if I could procrastinate on procrastinating? Wouldn't that be like a double negative?

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I really like ___________ because ____________.

I really like slapstick comedy because it makes me laugh.

      

Why Can't I Get Off My Butt???

Edition #5

Projects I Really Need to Complete

1. Filing - I thought that by now, we were supposed to be a paperless society! At least that's what I remember Alvin Toffler saying in his book, Future Shock.
2. Weeding - I am convinced that the mulch distributors pre-seed the mulch with weed seed.
3. Laundry - Does anyone (except my mother) ever get caught up with this?
4. Wash the Dog - "Please Mommy, I'll take care of it. I promise!"
5. Clean out the fridge - There must have been something to eat in there at some time because it sure stinks now!
6. Clean out my closet - I'm not wearing the stuff so I should pass it along to someone who will.
7. Organize the photos on my computer - I see you nodding your head. You're as overwhelmed by yours as I am mine.
8. Straighten up the garage - I would really like to get my car back in there!
9. Sew buttons on my husband's pants - Mothers: teach your sons to sew.
10. I'm getting exhausted just making this list!
11. Clean out my car - I must be drinking enough water because it's sure full of empty water bottles.
12. Finish taking down the wallpaper in the dining room - I hate wallpaper!
13. Organize my son's closet - Or just get rid of all the junk in it!

Screw it! I think I'll just go knit.

Unconscious Mutterings #231

1. Happen :: stance 
2. Terribly :: good
   
3. History :: page 
4. Master :: gardener 
5. Petrified :: wood 
6. Moan :: groan 
7. Attack :: fight 
8. Picture :: perfect 
9. Students :: teachers
   
10. Potter :: not 'til Grapes of Wrath is read