Turn the Page

May. A new month. A new page on the calender.

I cannot seem to make myself turn that page on the calender. It's as if by turning the page I close the chapter on my mother's death and I am not able to do that. I'm not ready. It's as if there was my life before March 31st and there is my life after March 31st. The clock keeps ticking and the pages keep turning, but I am trapped in the limbo between then and now.

I look back at a time that was happier and more carefree. A time when everything was funnier and lighter. I know things will get better and a time will come when there is more laughter in the day. I know that to get there the clock will have to keep ticking and the pages will have to keep turning, but for now I'm not turning that page.

Not yet. I am not ready.